Mondo Beyondo Part 2

Where I am Going:

2008- A Year of Cultivation, Education, and Love.

The fear of failure has practically paralyzed me concerning this portion of Mondo Beyondo. Therefore I begin this affirmation with this:

I will not allow fear of any shape, sort, or kind control me. This includes the stinking sneaky fear contained in self-doubt, worry, and general anxiety. These two gremlins have hovered at the edge of my consciousness for much, much too long and I am giving them the boot. I am acknowledging that they are present, I am confronting them, and I am beginning an active journey away from their control and into the arms of love. Love is an environment where fear cannot survive and it is there I will thrive.

In love I will cultivate the creative gifts that have been installed in me. These are blessings from God and with her help I will move in them. I will not doubt my ability. I will write, I will paint, I will sketch, I will photograph, I will collage, I will sing, I will speak, I will shape, I will love through my creativity.

In love I will cultivate the sanctuary of our home. I acknowledge that our home, wherever the shelter may stand, is a blessing from God. It is a place where our bodies and spirits may be restored. With God's grace I choose to cultivate an atmosphere of peace. I choose to cultivate an atmosphere of order. I choose to cultivate a cocoon of safety where we may create, love, laugh, entertain, learn, and rest. I allow the guilt that enshrouds me concerning "good housekeeping" to fall away and I trust that God in her infinite wisdom will teach me a better way to create a home-shelter. I will love through my home.

In love I will cultivate the romance and partnership between my husband and I. I acknowledge that this union we have entered into is spiritual. It is a blessing from God and I open myself up to her guidance as to the journey of nurturing this precious entity that is our love. I acknowledge that the shape of our relationship is ever evolving and I will not fear this. I will embrace our evolution and allow it to teach me. I will love through our romance and partnership.

In love I will cultivate the relationship that I have with my family, both of blood and not. These relationships are a blessing from God. These lives that entwine with mine are each precious gifts and I will open myself to God's grace and allow her to teach me of friendship and family. I will love through my interpersonal relationships.

In love I will cultivate the encounters I have with the human race. I will act with a heart of love, acknowledging that every being I meet is a creature of God's. I will not judge but allow God to act through me in grace. I will love through the human race.

In love I will cultivate the mind I have been bestowed. I acknowledge that I have been wonderfully made and the mind that I have been given is fertile soil. I will allow education to flow into me, I will open my mind, I will open my heart. I will take responsibility for my formal education. I will re-enter university where I can cultivate my interests in writing, theology, gender studies, and psychology. I will not doubt my abilities. I will allow the mind of God to revolutionize my mind. I will learn and I will love through my education.

In love I will cultivate my mental health. I acknowledge that this aspect of my personality is a blessing from God, though the peaks and valleys of bi-polar disorder are not the easiest terrain to maneuver. I acknowledge that my emotions are gifts to be harnessed, not covered up or ignored. I choose to believe that my mind will heal itself through Grace. I choose to believe that peace will enter my mind, and I will learn how to cultivate these new ideas of mental health with the help of God and her excellent goodness. I will love through my emotional life.

In love I will cultivate my spirit. I will allow the gentleness of God, the goodness of God, the joy of God, the peace of God to fill me with warmth. I will allow her to love me and I will allow that love to heal the deep hurts I have experienced concerning spirituality. I will be and allow the presence of God in this world to mold me and shape me. Basically, I resolve that I am empty and I will be filled. I acknowledge that this is a journey. I acknowledge this is one day at a time, even at times one minute at a time. In this journey I will not move in fear. I will love through this journey whatever it may bring, I will love and be in love.

(Pt. 1 is here.)

Mondo Beyondo Part 1

Presented by the magical Andrea Scher of Superhero Journal, Mondo Beyondo is a different way to look at the New Year, it is an invitation to "create lists of intentions that get you truly inspired {remember that the word "inspire" is about giving breath, giving life}", a absolutely positive way to move into a new day.

Part 1 for 2008 has been outlined by Andrea here.

Now, here I go:

Mondo Beyondo 2008 Part One: Completing

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?

In 2007 I ultimately uncovered the roots of who I am. I began a process of learning and unlearning. I began the journey of self-actualization. I confronted my fears of digging too deep, getting too dirty and dove into the muddy muck that holds the ancient roots of my soul.

In 2007 I created a home and slid into the nurturing of our family. I learned how to clean, organize, and arrange. I learned how to compose grocery lists, create meals, and do dishes. I learned how to create a sense of sanctuary, often in the midst of chaos. I learned how to create magic from nothingness.

In 2007 I found that deeper self love promotes deeper romance between my husband and I. I learned that a feminist perspective revolutionizes friendships and family relationships. I learned to love through brokenness and decay. I learned that love is all you need and communication is a vehicle for love.

In 2007 the path of my education has slowly and surely be lighted and the silt that once covered it is being swept away. My heart began to recognize my dreams and is acknowledging that I can do this.

In 2007 I learned how to learn, how to be taught, how to open myself up to knowledge and enlightenment.

2. What is there to grieve about 2007?

I grieve the moments in 2007 that I lost by being discontent and wishing for something different, something more. I forgive myself for allowing those "here, nows" to slip away, for not enjoying every minute to its fullest.

I grieve the moments in 2007 I lost to severe anxiety and self-doubt. I forgive myself for trying to treat those moments with self-medication and getting lost.

I grieve the moments in 2007 I lost in laziness. I forgive myself for getting overwhelmed and treating that engulfing emotion of helplessness with inactivity.

I grieve the moments, in 2007, of dear friend's lives I lost by silence and fear of judgment. I forgive myself for avoidance.

I grieve the judgments I made on other human-beings in 2007. I grieve the yucky fog those judgements created in my heart and mind. I forgive myself for allowing a critical spirit to dictate my acceptance of others.

3. Declaration of 2007-- Complete.

2007, You were a wild and crazy ride. A beautiful and trying journey. You were long and short. You were full of blessing. Your joy was made all the brighter by your woes. My heart is full of gratitude for the life we had together and now I am letting you go-- to the place wherever time goes. I declare you complete!

2008 is my year of cultivation and education. And above all else-- Love.

How about you? I would love your participation, we're in this together darlings. Post in your own blog, "post" in your heart, write in your journal, but declare! Our declarations are so, so powerful. And share! I would love to hear from you beautiful ones.

Love Follows.

First I must start by saying "Thank You!" to Andrea Scher of Superhero Designs for posting her weekly "photo assignments," she has inspired me to look at my world more creatively, taking time out of sometimes mundane and hectic daily life to make some beauty. It is nice to have a prompt and to see the way others interpret and create based on her suggestions.
This week's assignment was to photograph hearts that cross our paths. Immediately I began looking around my environment and one of the first things I saw was a Delilah-dog toy at my feet. This particular toy's original purpose was to entertain a toddler, but when I saw it it was screaming Delilah! so I brought it home for her and she was wildly enthusiastic about it. It is one of the few toys that she will pick up and play with by herself. As you can see in the second photograph the toy has various appendages hanging from it and some of them rattle, this is thrilling to my little doggy daughter. She likes to grab it in her mouth and shake it all about, making all kinds of noise that never ceases to make me smile. One of its tentacles it shaped as a heart.
The second thing I spotted that hosted a heart was a notebook I made a bit ago to contain all things related to me and Joshua's upcoming nuptials. I put the heart there as a trademark of our emotional life.
It seems, little reminders of love follow me throughout my days, in the smallest of places, and sometimes as an afterthought. I'm glad today I was able to take the time and acknowledge love's ever-presence.