Chaos and Creativity
the journey 
Hello, it is Thursday. I've been rather silent this week. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I hope you have been having a good week. This week, for me, has been: messy, chaotic, uncomfortable, worrisome; and in the same breath: productive, a learning experience, a lesson in trust, a lesson in patience.
I took the week off from work with the purpose of creating order in our lives. For those of you who haven't followed me and Josh's story for awhile now, the past year has been a rather gypsy sort of lifestyle. August of 2007 we had a bad experience with a crazy landlord and ended up moving in less that a month's time. After that move we endured a winter in a house with no heat, only to have to move around six months after moving in because the house "sold," (the deal ended up falling through). We have now been in our current home since March. With all of the moving and the hardship of living with depression our home life has suffered. Did you know that depression affects the area of your brain that you use for organizational purposes? I have been detached from our environment in a big way. The garage of our current home has, until recently, held un-unpacked boxes from our move. We have not been able to use our home space to the fullest of its potential, and have not been living up to our creative potential, because things have been in such disarray.
Now, with the added complexity of starting school, at home none-the-less, I have felt it is very important to get this BIG aspect of our lives under control. Thusly, this has been a week of unpacking, organizing, disposing of, re-discovering, cleaning, et. al. It has been very uncomfortable and challenging. In my humanity I tend to grow impatient and bitter towards the tasks at hand. Mostly these feeling come up when I begin to jump ahead and think about all of the things left to do. I have begun to see if I allow myself to be truly present in the moment, and concentrate fully on the task at hand things are much more comfortable. It also helps me to constantly remind myself why I am doing this-- so we can have a healthy, creative space in which we can fulfill those dreams which lay in our hearts, so we can have positive energy surrounding us every minute of our home life, so we can entertain guests in an environment that is comfortable and peaceful!
Perhaps I'll post photos of my success when it is completed! Would you like that?
Reader Comments (2)
yeah, i would like that! show me pictures. ;)
I would love to see that. Kudos to you for facing such an enormous task-- especially while you are a 'new' student! I was lucky; in starting my current round of education (I started on the same day as you, the 20th), I simply moved away from my chaos into a nice empty (save a bed and an armchair) room in a friend's apartment. It's good to be separate from what was while launching a new beginning. In your case, it takes some extra sweat to get to the point where you have 'moved in to' your 'new' surroundings. I wish you love and patience.