A cry.

I feel horribly empty at the moment. I feel as though I haven't anything left within. I feel bone tired, through and through. Mentally and physically exhausted. I feel that the goodness that once thrived inside me is slowly being smothered my the hardness, the harshness of life. Life is hard. Terribly hard. So hard that it is getting to the point that I just don't understand why the Universe seems to be being so mean to us. I love and love and love and now feel like someone has slapped me in the face all the while saying,

"It doesn't matter how you love and love and love, it doesn't matter that you have decided to do things the 'right way,' it doesn't matter that you have sacrificed so much for love. Here is some more suffering for you. Here is a surgery that will leave you exhausted, barely able to scrape together meals and keep the house in order. Here are two broken down cars, that you haven't the money to fix. Here is a house that you cannot afford to heat. Here are more bills that you cannot afford to pay. Here is a career that takes and takes without nurturing you in any way. Here are hundreds of people to come into contact with that haven't one smidgen of the love of God in their hearts, that will scorn you, judge you, flaunt their nice running cars, nice heated houses, superfluous belonging to you. And YOU must love them, even though the thought of them makes your heart scream, WHY? Why must I love them, why must I be good and kind, why must I? Why must I know that there is more to life than this?"

Why must I be chosen? This is a cry for help understanding why this less traveled path is for me. This a cry for understanding that this path will make all the difference. This is a cry from my hurting heart.

Comments

[BlossomingSoul]

You are asking big questions, and I know you will remember the answers.
I am holding you, dear stranger, in my heart.
Just be.
:0)

[Maggie Ann.]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for you kind, good heart-words.
They mean the world to me.
Blessing on you.