Back with a vengence.
Giraffe: What the hell are you doing giving me this sycamore leaf? Where is the good stuff? Those special animal graham cracker thingies they sell you naive zoo visitors to feed us adorable exotic animals? I want my fix.
Me: I'm sorry Mr. Giraffe, I'm po' and cannot afford to buy the extra "or" for the word po' let alone the expensive animal graham cracker thingies they have for sale. I spent every last penny on this snazzy outfit I am wearing. See my snazzy outfit? My bright, red, burn your retinas out turtleneck and my vest. I am wearing a vest just for you Mr. Giraffe, and it is embroidered. Do you see the intricate design Mr. Giraffe. I wore it especially for you! Please eat my sycamore leaf.
Giraffe: 'Scuse me. I am not eating that damn leaf, look in my enclosure, do you see all those leaves on the ground, it is like a leaf smorgasbord down there. I do not need you offering me a crispy old fallen leaf from the ground, I can get those myself. I want graham crackers! If you do not get me graham crackers I am going to lick you with my insanely long giraffe tongue.
Me: Mr. Giraffe, please, please close your mouth, your tepid breath is cause my face to curl up like this leaf. Ahhh, not the tongue, put the tongue away. Don't steal my soul with your tongue. If you don't want my leaf, and you won't admire my embroidered vest I am going someplace were I will be truly appreciated. I am going to the goat pen, where not only will they eat all the leaves I offer them but they will also probably consume this horrible vest I am wearing!
04.3.2007
Reader Comments (2)
giraffe: hey little girl, you want some candy?
girl: no, my momma told me not to accept candy from strange giraffe's...
giraffe: aw, shit sugar, it's all gravy baby. you look awfully cute in that vest. GIMME THAT LEAF! I EAT LEAVES (and little girls i con into meeting me behind that rock over there for some candy)...
the above comment is why i love him.